Manifesting in Midlife for the Overwhelmed

Manifesting in Midlife – How Hard Can It Be?

At the beginning of the year, I set myself a challenge — Manifesting in Midlife. I do like a good challenge. Inspired by a Scarlett Thomas story I’d read years ago, I decided to give this manifesting lark a go. I’d already been dabbling in mindfulness and meditation, so moving on to the serious stuff felt exciting. Light a candle, focus my intentions, and conjure something amazing up — how hard can it be?

I envisioned a beautiful country estate to turn into a wildlife sanctuary. The kind with a grand old house (no damp or drafts, though) and a fabulous walled garden. There would be a sweeping, oak-lined driveway and a herd of lovely old donkeys meandering across my rolling parkland. That would suit me rather well, I think. How hard can it be?

Spoiler alert, really flipping hard!

It’s now November, and thus far my mindful, midlife, manifesting journey isn’t exactly going the way I envisioned. My 500-acre country estate is still stuck somewhere in the ether — waiting! (Someone had better be feeding my future Donkeys.) It’s a swirling mass of potential that I can’t connect with, because I’m perpetually irritated by everyone and everything. A state of being that isn’t conducive to anything — let alone manifesting hundreds of acres of prime real estate.

At this point, I couldn’t even manifest my way out of a wet paper bag.

Vision Boards, Candles, and Chaos

So far, I’ve realised that manifesting isn’t about making a pretty vision board. Nope, that definitely doesn’t work for me. Neither does lighting a candle and meditating while the kids constantly interrupt you for snacks and more mobile data.

Manifesting doesn’t happen in the chaos — or certainly not in our house. It needs space, focus, and some inner quiet to take root. Allegedly. That’s where mindfulness comes in. It’s the calm before the magic — the pause that clears the fog so your intentions can actually find their way to you.

Manifesting in Midlife for the Overwhelmed

If you’re unfamiliar with this sort of ‘stuff’ (like I was), here’s the very brief version. Mindfulness helps to clear mental clutter — I need a shovel and a skip for mine. It’s about becoming aware of your thoughts and gently steering them in a better direction. A mindful mindset helps you align with the positive energy of your goals. Country estate for my wildlife sanctuary, please.

This is very, very brief! There is a lot of information about this out there and some warnings about how it can potentially backfire. So if you’re curious, it’s worth exploring for yourself. Since I’ve yet to manifest anything, I’m no guru to follow. I have, however, made every effort to be mindful — at least as often as I remember to be.

Be Mindful, She Said…

“Be mindful!” I mutter to myself as one of the kids knocks a glass of milk over the living room carpet.
“Be mindful!” I hiss through gritted teeth as the dog bolts across the park to have a massive crap in front of some old people enjoying the sun.
“Be mindful!” I cry out, as I poke myself in the eye with my own glasses for the second time in an hour.

Bloody Mindfulness.

When Positivity Meets Perimenopause

It turns out it’s unbelievably hard to stay focused on positivity for the as-yet-undetermined length of time manifesting apparently takes. The fact that my mind feels like a sack full of monkeys — and my body can’t hold a reasonable temperature for more than fifteen minutes — doesn’t help.

And if that wasn’t enough, Fanny (remember Fanny? My inner critic) is in my ear 24/7 with her defamatory monologue:
“Ew, you look old today. Actually, you look old every day, but today is even worse. You’re so stupid — why would you do that? Blimey, everyone hates you now! What the hell are you wearing? Is that Crocs and socks?”

Okay, the Crocs and socks thing is bad — I’ll let her have that one.

I keep thinking, “Tomorrow is the day I’m going to seize. Tomorrow is my day.” But you know what they say: tomorrow never comes. And it’s true. If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d be up there on the podium with a gold medal round my neck. So I need to show up for myself in the present. Which is why I’m sat here writing this and considering where I am going wrong.

“Distractions, Distractions, Distractions — Manifesting in Midlife: The Pitfalls”

The next obstacle to tackle has to be distractions. I am easily distracted… oh look, a biscuit.

Not just a biscuit! I watched a YouTube video of a starling making R2-D2 sounds. Then I watched a funny clip about decorating and a strange advert from Thailand about termite spray. After that, I deleted a few hundred emails, read an article about the Judas Tree and its edible, vitamin C–rich flowers, and made a cup of tea — for the biscuit, obviously.

This time-wasting nonsense is exactly the reason I have failed to manifest so much as a chocolate button. shakes head slowly

I never really believed manifesting would work for me — not deep down, anyway. That’s definitely my stumbling block. You can’t achieve something you have serious doubts about. I don’t doubt that some people can do it; I just doubt that I can. And that begs the question: why not me? What’s wrong with me?
No, Fanny — sit back down. That’s not an opening for your “what’s wrong with me” speech.

Manifesting asks for belief without proof. It requires you to act as if the thing is already yours — should I buy Donkey food and posh wellies? — and to trust that the universe is listening. But Fanny is always there, arms folded, eyebrows raised, smirking, “Really, Abbi? You and your imaginary Donkeys again?”

I need to strike a deal with Fanny, or lock her in the shed. I don’t know what the solution for her is yet, but I will find one.

Too Old? Too Weird? Too Ordinary?

I’m not going to give up on manifesting — I’m going to clear the clutter and get that positive energy pointing in the right direction! Writing this blog has made me think a lot about what I believe to be true. Like my absolute confidence in my belief that I lack confidence — I mean, what even is that? Clearly, I’m nuts. And then there’s my belief that my limiting beliefs are limiting my belief in success. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

Before I started this blog, I doubted myself and my abilities. Was I too old? Too weird? Too ordinary? Or just not enough of anything? But I pushed myself and I did it. Yes, it was difficult — I am a technological Jonah! Yes, it was scary — putting yourself and your thoughts out there is nerve-racking, like one of those naked-in-public dreams.

But I did it anyway. I pushed myself, and now I have my own little blog. I’ve had some amazing feedback from wonderful people, for which I’m so grateful. I feel proud of myself for persevering through the discomfort — and for learning how to do the technical bits without throwing my computer out of the window.

Now, as I write these last few paragraphs, it’s dawned on me that this blog is, in itself, a sort of manifestation. How did I overlook something so fundamentally obvious? It fits the criteria — it was a thought, an idea, a dream, and now here it is, out there on the world wide web for anyone to see. Isn’t it strange how we sometimes fail to see what’s right in front of our eyes — literally?

“The hardest step she ever took was to blindly trust in who she was.” – Atticus

Further Reading Links

Some further ramblings about Menopause and Midlife

How to be happier – NHS UK