Menopause, Motherhood, and Gardening for Mental Health

Just as I hit my mid forties and felt I was finally getting to grips with life, peri-menopause crashed into my life with all the subtlety of an atomic bomb.

Seemingly overnight I went from vaguely ‘normal’ to what the flipping heck is happening now?

Hot flushes? sure, we’ve all heard about those.

But brain fog so thick I can barely remember what I was doing three seconds ago. The bone deep exhaustion? the mood swings? crying uncontrollably because of odd socks? and why does it feel like someone’s moved the light switches?

It’s difficult to know whether these strange, fleeting symptoms are menopause related or just plain weird.

Itchy leg? menopause… or just me?
Lost my glasses for the millionth time… Menopause or me?
Uncontrollable rage because my pocket got caught on the kitchen cupboard handle? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine!

Welcome to my midlife circus: currently starring hot flushes, brain fog and an alarming anger towards cupboard handles – but also a surprising discovery in gardening for mental health.

Mental Health and Managing Motherhood

And of course, the circus doesn’t stop just because you have kids to look after, school runs to do and work that always needs doing. Those pesky midlife hormones don’t wait for a convenient moment, the show carries on regardless of my wants and needs.

‘Mum what’s for dinner?’
‘Mum where is my PE kit?’
‘Mum the dog has been sick… and is eating it’

Managing motherhood and juggling all my other life commitments while also managing my mental health through all of this has been…. let’s just say, interesting.

Some days I cope, some days I cry in the car and eat peanuts by the handful. It’s a learning curve, and what I am realising is that finding small pockets of calm throughout the day can make the difference between a complete meltdown and muddling through.

More often than not, those pockets of calm are found outside. When the world feels overwhelming, I escape to the garden for five minutes of freedom among the flora and fauna — gardening for mental health — where the bees, butterflies, slugs, and snails are far better friends than my hormones.

Wildlife Gardening for Mental Health

Our garden isn’t big, and it isn’t especially beautiful either — at least not to the outside eye. It’s late summer, most things are past their best, but to me it’s still a haven.

In the garden, I don’t have to be strong. I don’t have to have the answers. I’m not Mum, or wife, or colleague, or employee. I’m just me — present in the moment.

Sometimes that moment is spent quietly watching the creatures go about their tiny lives. Sometimes it’s cutting back brambles or deadheading the dahlias. Occasionally, it’s sipping a gin and tonic and enjoying the evening fragrance as the light fades from the sky.

Whatever I’m doing, the time I spend in the garden soothes my mind. It reminds me that even in the messy, exhausting times, there is still room for growth, beauty, and a little peace.

The garden doesn’t require perfection. It’s a work in progress — just like me. And that is the real gift of gardening for mental health: it reminds me that I don’t need to be perfect either.